and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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