How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize