You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
