you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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