Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
