i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
now i know why i became what i already was.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Operation Purity has been aborted
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize