btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
