Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Dick very happy bro
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
