hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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