I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
