It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
