i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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