doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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