I seem to have left my pride at pride
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
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