his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
