how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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