Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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