Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
