I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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