Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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