Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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