she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
