Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Randomize
