Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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