if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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