my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
