Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
What a dumb baby whore.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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