Nicole vs. Life
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
