so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
