its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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