Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
