New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
