did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
