Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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