VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
