the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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