I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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