The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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