oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
