Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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