She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
