she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
