i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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