I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
