I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
