Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
