Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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