Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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