We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
