He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
