Joe is yelling at the trees again.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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