I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
