Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I stole a fireplace last night.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
