I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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