ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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