And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
