Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
